Alright, I suppose it's about time I do a proper review and out myself while doing it, since I think you're doing me the same courtesy. More than that, this fanfiction really is my favorite in the entire fandom. Not just amongst the captivity fics or the dystopian fics, but the entire fanfiction sub-genre of the fandom. Since I work better in a sort of list format, we'll go with that.
Erik
As we've already discussed, I adore the approach you take with your third person-limited perspective. I really do get entirely engrossed in Erik's perspective when I read an update from you. There's something dark about being in his psyche, with vague edges of brokenness. But I think the best part is the way that you use that. You show, you don't tell, and despite the fact it's from Erik's perspective we learn about Erik through those around him—particularly Charles and Raven, I feel. You never really write Erik just sitting there thinking about his past or his scars or his baggage, and that's believable. No one sits around thinking extensively about the bad in their lives, not typically at least, and Erik doesn't either.
We discover Erik through your perspective of him, the way that he weaves himself into the lives of these other characters. We learn about him through what he gives away and what he doesn't, the intricate way that you write his emotions and what he expresses and what he hides. The development of his character is believable, from personal vendetta to soldier on the forefront of mutant rights and supremacy to uncertain but determined ruler. And that same development seeps into his personal life, carrying the reader along through waves of time where he's suffering unrequited love, painful acceptance of his own loneliness, growing affection for Charles, to possessive lover. And the growing affection for Charles seeps over very well in this chapter to his relationship with Rogue. You can tell that Erik's finally seeing her and appreciating her, using her to get more understanding.
But he isn't without his flaws, his imperfections and insecurities. He tries, but he's hard on himself. I was discussing a few days ago with my RP partner about the likeliness of Erik being a Pisces, and one of the things that websites said was “No one is harder on the Pisces than the Pisces itself.” I think, regardless of zodiac sign, this is true of your incarnation. No matter what he does, Erik will see the bad in it, see his shortcomings, and that makes him almost unbearably relateable. It makes him real, and his characterization solid.
Style
I love reading your style. It's always hard to put into words exactly what I get out of it, because I'm worried I'll say the wrong thing, but I'm envious of how you work. The way that you string things together is absolutely inspiring. I think a lot of authors spend a lot of time trying to make every sentence make an impact, which gets tedious. Your style is so powerful because the right sentences—sometimes the ones you don't expect—punch you right in the face. This is one of those fanfictions that I read and I end up smiling without realizing it, or frowning, or flexing my fingers in nervous habit. You're brilliant, and it shows through the way that you use your words.
I also think the way that you don't keep a consistent method with your sections is excellent. The sections that are just a sentence or two really do their job of punctuating what you want to punctuate. Or at least, I assume that's their purpose. I know sometimes I write things and think—hope—wonder if the audience is getting what I meant for them to get out of it. Half the time they get even more and I'm not entirely sure how they do that. But I digress, the point is that you keep the powerful themes punching through. Things echo in my head sometimes from when you update, and since I'm in Erik's head space I'm always wondering if those same things echo for him.
God this turned into an essay or something. [1/2]
Erik
As we've already discussed, I adore the approach you take with your third person-limited perspective. I really do get entirely engrossed in Erik's perspective when I read an update from you. There's something dark about being in his psyche, with vague edges of brokenness. But I think the best part is the way that you use that. You show, you don't tell, and despite the fact it's from Erik's perspective we learn about Erik through those around him—particularly Charles and Raven, I feel. You never really write Erik just sitting there thinking about his past or his scars or his baggage, and that's believable. No one sits around thinking extensively about the bad in their lives, not typically at least, and Erik doesn't either.
We discover Erik through your perspective of him, the way that he weaves himself into the lives of these other characters. We learn about him through what he gives away and what he doesn't, the intricate way that you write his emotions and what he expresses and what he hides. The development of his character is believable, from personal vendetta to soldier on the forefront of mutant rights and supremacy to uncertain but determined ruler. And that same development seeps into his personal life, carrying the reader along through waves of time where he's suffering unrequited love, painful acceptance of his own loneliness, growing affection for Charles, to possessive lover. And the growing affection for Charles seeps over very well in this chapter to his relationship with Rogue. You can tell that Erik's finally seeing her and appreciating her, using her to get more understanding.
But he isn't without his flaws, his imperfections and insecurities. He tries, but he's hard on himself. I was discussing a few days ago with my RP partner about the likeliness of Erik being a Pisces, and one of the things that websites said was “No one is harder on the Pisces than the Pisces itself.” I think, regardless of zodiac sign, this is true of your incarnation. No matter what he does, Erik will see the bad in it, see his shortcomings, and that makes him almost unbearably relateable. It makes him real, and his characterization solid.
Style
I love reading your style. It's always hard to put into words exactly what I get out of it, because I'm worried I'll say the wrong thing, but I'm envious of how you work. The way that you string things together is absolutely inspiring. I think a lot of authors spend a lot of time trying to make every sentence make an impact, which gets tedious. Your style is so powerful because the right sentences—sometimes the ones you don't expect—punch you right in the face. This is one of those fanfictions that I read and I end up smiling without realizing it, or frowning, or flexing my fingers in nervous habit. You're brilliant, and it shows through the way that you use your words.
I also think the way that you don't keep a consistent method with your sections is excellent. The sections that are just a sentence or two really do their job of punctuating what you want to punctuate. Or at least, I assume that's their purpose. I know sometimes I write things and think—hope—wonder if the audience is getting what I meant for them to get out of it. Half the time they get even more and I'm not entirely sure how they do that. But I digress, the point is that you keep the powerful themes punching through. Things echo in my head sometimes from when you update, and since I'm in Erik's head space I'm always wondering if those same things echo for him.