Mod Post: So let's talk about this ableism thing.

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Disclaimer: After writing this, I sent it to the other mods and some friends of mine to check to make sure it didn't say anything problematic, but if they or I missed something important or said something wrong, please don't hesitate to let me know. I'm still learning.

Something's been brought to our attention in regards to language people have been using re: disability, and problematic depictions thereof. It's great that we have a character in this fandom who is disabled, and it's great that there is a lot of interest in writing about him! But there are people on this meme who are also disabled, and insensitive or simply ignorant words can really hurt them. As our goal with this meme is to maintain a space where everyone present can feel comfortable participating, we'd like to keep this from happening, and we hope you feel the same way.

You may have noticed that "ableism" has been added to the list of triggers to warn for. If you're not familiar with the word, it refers to any speech, action, or treatment that hurts, oppresses, or discriminates against disabled people. Words like "cripple" and "gimp" fall into this category. Prompts using these words (with a few exceptions, noted below) will be deleted. So do stories that depict Charles' disability as disgusting or unacceptable, or erase it completely. Language like “the crippled man”, “the disabled man”, and “the handicapped man” focuses on his disability, perpetuating the common mindset that disabled people are only disabled, and never have any other defining traits.

Now, we're not going to ask you to stop writing these stories, because this is a kink meme and it is not our business what you choose to ask for or write about. But we do ask that you warn for it, if you think your prompt or fill contains it. Wanting stories about Charles and Erik having acrobatic post-movie sex does not make you a bad person, but that doesn't really matter to someone with a disability who reads it and is hurt by that erasure. Taking the time to consider if your content could hurt someone is just the considerate thing to do.

Likewise, it’s entirely possible to write about ableism without taking part in it yourself -- for instance, depicting Charles dealing with being visibly different for the first time and showing the ways people treat him. Unless they are part of the prompt (“someone calls Charles a “cripple”, cue him defending himself/the team defending him”), ableist slurs are unnecessary; comments in which the prompter casually uses them to refer to a character are unacceptable. But no matter how you write about it, any ableist content needs a warning.

The mods will treat this as any other warning issue: if we see ableist language or actions in your fill or prompt (or it's called to our attention by someone else) and there is no warning, we will ask you to post it again with that warning and delete the offending prompt or fill. We'd rather not do this, so please just be aware of what you're writing so that we can all enjoy this meme.

Please also be aware that we are not perfect; if you find unwarned-for ableist content that we haven’t caught, please feel free to contact the poster or us about it.

So to clarify: I am asking you to either change your wordings or warn for your content. Not because of politics or what bothers you, but because this is a space for everyone to enjoy their kinks and it's courteous to let people know that you've written content that might upset them.

And appended: took "crazy" out of the post because it's not that relevant to the discussion and I was informed that lumping mental and physical disabilities together was a bit insensitive, which, yes, I see now. I am leaving the computer for a while; if I don't get to replying to you in a timely fashion, that's why.

One more edit. Someone suggested having a "choose not to warn" option. Is this something people can agree on/ are interested in? It's not ideal but it seems like a good compromise so that we can all get back to the meme. 

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Is "psychos" going to be similarly policed and deleted? "Maniacs"? "Hysterical"? "Nuts/nutcase"?

Why is it acceptable as an adjective but not a noun?

Why is "the disabled man/the man in the wheelchair" going to be policed and deleted when other epithets ("the tall man," "the German") will not? What if it's a story told from the point of view of someone who would notice that feature of Charles first and think of him that way after?

Are you guys going to be reading through every fill and policing every mention of Charles's disability or lack thereof? Why is the priority suddenly on making this place a safe space for people with disabilities instead of any other feature? Isn't deciding a kink meme should be a safe space in terms of subjective content an extremely slippery slope? Can't there just be a general warning that there might be erasing of disabilities (and divorces) for the sake of kink?

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The reason I'm not specifying the adjective form of "crazy" as well is because I, as a mod, do not have the energy to check each comment for it and there is so much argument about it that I would rather leave it to individuals to make their own calls unless it becomes a problem in terms of people feeling threatened or getting hurt.

This kink meme is not a safe space. I am merely asking people to be courteous, which is apparently too much for some people to handle. There is absolutely no way I can be everywhere at once and read every comment, even with the whole mod team. Adding a warning takes seconds, it's not that hard, I don't understand why it's such an issue.

I don't want to delete comments. I would rather do pretty much anything than have to resort to that. But I also don't want people to feel they can't come here because they don't know what to expect, and if everyone just uses their judgement and leaves warnings where necessary, then there's no issue.

And as for What if it's a story told from the point of view of someone who would notice that feature of Charles first and think of him that way after?, I'm only asking you to warn for it. That's all.

[(Anonymous)]

How are you supposed to warn for it when it would never occur to you that such a thing needed to be warned for?

Are you telling me I should warn in my fics for "ableism" at all times just in case, even if they're not ableist at all IMO, just so people won't complain? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of labeling them at all?

I don't understand how I should label or warn for something that seems so thematically nebulous. Like, I still don't understand what's considered ableist by your standards, beyond the obvious of calling Charles a "cripple" or what have you. I also don't see how expressing sadness he got SHOT IN THE SPINE is ableist. Are fics where Erik cries over his hospital bed because he's paralyzed ableist? Anything that expresses a negative emotion toward that event?

I'm just very confused, and frustrated that you seem to be acting like this is an obvious and simple task for us writers, when clearly, judging from the above complaints, it is neither.

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I'm not asking you to be 100% right all the time. If it doesn't seem ableist to you, don't warn -- but also be prepared to add a warning if someone asks for it. That's all. That's really all I'm asking. I really, really don't understand why this is such a big deal for people, and I'm sorry if there's some reason I'm not seeing, but I've yet to have someone explain to me why this is so difficult.

[(Anonymous)]

If you really don't understand why people are finding it difficult, here are a couple things off the top of my head:

1. People will generally, I think, accept that ableism is bad, at least in the abstract. So when you are saying "Label your stories where Charles isn't disabled with 'abelism'" it may be making people feel like their stories are bad, or they are ableist (which is bad) for wanting those stories. (Some people will say "good!" or at least, "Well, they should think about *why* they want those stories, because that desire may be rooted in ableism." People aren't really going to *like* those answers. Hence, difficulties.)

2. You're saying that people don't have to be right all the time, but if there's an objection they should add a warning. This presupposes that the people objecting are "right", and that there is a "right", which... sometimes yes sometimes no? Obviously, those people are "right" in saying that they personally were offended, but the people writing the stories may feel like putting that warning on their stories is incorrect. And a lot of those people will be clueless CAB* folks who are overlooking their privilege, but some of those people might in fact be disabled folks who just don't fucking want to deal with disability in their story because they deal with it in their lives. Or they deal with it a different way than the person objecting. (There is... a lot of difference between how people deal with disability and the way people deal with other identities, I think. Many similarities, but in a lot of ways, disability isn't the same as race, gender, sexuality.)
Then, like one poster already has, they have to pull out the "Well, in fact, I am also disabled!" thing, or be called clueless and privileged etc. Not everybody wants to do that, and they really shouldn't have to. And then we get into "You just have internalized ableism!" and that is never, ever a fun conversation.

3. Warnings do, in fact, sometimes change the way a person reads a story. Personally, I generally like warnings. I read fanfiction mostly for comfort, so I like knowing what I'm getting into. Others feel that takes away from the joy of reading- you prepare yourself and don't get to feel the full emotional punch. Some people want that punch and so when they write the story, they feel like labels are taking something away. Hence the popularity of the grey-on-grey warnings- which are not possible in anon comments and so not possible here.

I'm not arguing that any of these things are the correct stance, incidentally. As a reader, I like warnings. As a writer, I find them paralyzing. (Fortunately I don't write much, so I don't have to deal with this conflict often.) I think making fandom a better space for marginalized folks is a really great goal, though I don't actually know if warnings are the key to that. (Not that I have any great solutions myself, you understand.) Just that these are possible reasons for pushback.

[(Anonymous)]

*CAB- currently able bodied.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, and I was going to add! I think choose not to warn is a good way to allow for people who have these objections (and others) to co-exist with people who want warnings.

Okay, now I'm done.