round 3 overflow post
Dec. 18th, 2011 05:18 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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xmenfirstkinkThis post is for Round 3 fills only. We ask that when a round hits 8500 comments, fillers begin moving their fills to this post.
Format:
SUBJECT LINE -- Round #, short description of fic (ex: "Alex/Hank, lab partners")
--- Link to the prompt
--- Text of the prompt
--- Link to the fill
OR
--- Entire text of the fill
EXAMPLE:
Prompt: http://xmen-firstkink.livejournal.com/6437.html?thread=1038472#t2038174
Charles/Erik -- Charles is a bakery owner whose most frequent customer is Erik.
Fill: http://xmen-firstkink.livejournal.com/6437.html?thread=0139482#t4502942
Charles started off the morning the same way he always did...
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[Fill] Stained (37/?) Warning: Rape-Related PTSD
Date: 2012-03-17 12:55 pm (UTC)Fear lurked somewhere on the edges of his consciousness, but there was no room in his chaotic, over-strained mind to do anything but move forward and cling to his own sanity.
He automatically reached for the comfort of his sister’s mind, but the moment he opened himself up the tiny fraction necessary to connect with another he found himself swept up in a torrential wave of anger.
Rage so much rage.
He was drowning in it. In everything. Fast, so fast, everything at once, all mixed up and traces of diamonds, sharp, cutting deeply in every direction, meant to hurt. Meant to kill. Losing everything. Water pressing down, lungs straining -
Pain.
The glint of knives, like diamonds and glass, a coin in his hand and destruction everywhere. Hunger, his insides clawing in on themselves and so many blank faces. The smell of burnt flesh and ash staining his skin and sonderkommando. Aren’t you happy I’ve protected you from this?
Terror.
Always afraid and always angry and alone forever and ever.
She was gone. She was gone.
And he was young, standing before a desk and there was a manmonsterdemon smiling with false promises and the smell of chocolate and –
Move the coin
He couldn’t, he couldn’t –
And his mother –
Charles clung to the woman’s face as everything swirls together. Something solid, something real. The look in her eyes.
He watched her lips move,
Alles ist gut. Alles ist gut. Alles ist gut!
The promises spoken in a language he does not speak, but understands anyway. Lies, all lies, nothing she could do, but she tried. She tried. And Charles had known such devotion was possible, in theory. But it had always been something he could only dream of. A fairytale, meant to be experienced only second hand and never like this, so strong and bright, in the darkest of nights.
But here she was, staring down eminent death with a smile on her face. A smile for him, for her son.
Her face is overlaid with another, blond and blue eyes, but cold, so cold and the words did not match, the mouth did not move, merely tightened in polite disinterest. Worthless, so worthless, she’d give him up in an instant, to save herself, for just one more bottle. But here, he could feel it, her devotion and he coveted it. Would die again and again to feel it. Just for a moment, even with the water pressing down, choking, swallowing him up.
[Fill] Stained (38/?) Warning: Rape-Related PTSD
Date: 2012-03-17 12:57 pm (UTC)A gun shot. And the metal is alive. He can feel it everywhere, but Mama. Mama. She’s on the floor. Mama.
Why?
And he is drowning in pain and suffocating on ashes. Knives glint and diamonds cut and make it stop, please –
Alone. So alone and cold, freezing, hungry, always. Pain.
A memory solidifies in the chaos and he is sucked in, a dark room. Empty. No, a man, in uniform a red band around his arm in front of him. Hands on his head. Holding him, touching him. On his knees. Being pulled forward. What, what –
His mouth is forced open. Sick, he feels sick, thinning hair pulled tight, the man’s dick being forced down his throat –
The door banging open. Doktor, there, monster, angry. So angry, but not at him –
The man, not him, in the chair now. Doktor’s hand on his shoulder, the knife placed in his hand.
Revenge. Make him bleed.
The memory burns. A farce or reality. A trick, always a trick to break him open, remake him in the image of his maker. And death. In death there will be peace. They’ll die together. Over. It will be over.
The water. Pressing down. Hold on. Hold on.
Charles managed to pull himself free with a gasp, freezing on the staircase where he found himself, his mind reeling.
He had experienced attacks like this in the past. He had suffered terrible things in the minds of other, had been terrified and confused and lost and angry along with those victims…but the first hand experience was different, he knew. So much worse.
He did not understand how that man is still going, still fighting. Charles can’t even begin to imagine what he would have done in the man’s place. He’d have gone made. He would have killed himself to escape it.
Not Erik. Erik was the man’s name and Erik had not succumbed. He was strong. Damaged and lonely, but so impossibly strong. Determined.
He survived. He had purpose. Erik was no longer afraid, he was making himself safe. Erik would never again roll over and play dead.
But he was going to die, Charles realized abruptly.
Erik was going to drown trying to stop Shaw’s submarine.
And Charles…Charles couldn’t let that happen. Not to Erik.
Charles pulled his hands from Raven’s and Moira’s grip. “Someone’s in the water,” he informed them. Then he turned and ran back up the stairs, heedless to their shouts. “Someone’s in the water,” he repeated himself as loudly as he could as he rushed blindly through the crowd of seamen. He tugged off his jacket and kicked off his shoe before throwing himself off the side of the boat.
[Fill] Stained (39/?) Warning: Rape-Related PTSD
Date: 2012-03-17 01:00 pm (UTC)Erik struggled in his grip and Charles couldn’t hold on, so he reached out into the man’s tattered mind, calling desperately, You can't. You'll drown. You have to let go. He tried to sooth the diamond shorn edges of Erik’s mind. I know what this means to you, you have to believe that I do, but you're going to die. Please! Erik, calm you mind.
Charles had just accepted the possibility that he would drown here with Erik, when the man abruptly released his hold on the submarine allowing the pair to bob to the surface. Charles gasped for breath and clung to Erik’s arms, not trusting the man to return to his insane task.
“Who are you?” Erik snarled breathlessly.
“My name is Charles Xavier,” Charles said.
“You were in my head! How did you do that?” Suspicion. Charles understood. How could he not? Still, he tried to smile over the noise in Erik’s head. Focus. He needed to focus.
“You have your tricks, I have mine. I'm like you. Just calm your mind!” He knew he was begging at the end, but how could he not? Erik was overwhelming. Alive, but overwhelming. Charles projected calm as best he could. He needed to think.
“I thought I was alone.” The man’s voice was overlaid in Charles’ mind with that of terrified little boy.
“You're not alone. Erik, you're not alone,” Charles said. It was a promise. It was a fact.
Neither of them was alone anymore.
Re: [Fill] Stained (39/?) Warning: Rape-Related PTSD
Date: 2012-03-20 12:52 am (UTC)I am so glad you decided to give us an ending, even if it just leaves me wanting more! I really do hope that inspiration hits again some time and that we will get to see even just a little bit of the interactions between these two.
Re: [Fill] Stained (39/?) Warning: Rape-Related PTSD
Date: 2012-03-20 02:55 pm (UTC)I'm happy you liked this even though it really is just a tease, I felt it was the least I could do after leaving everyone hanging for so long.
In a few months, depending on how my other projects are going, I think I'll watch First Class again and see if I can find some inspiration. In the meantime, thank you for reading!
Re: [Fill] Stained (39/?) Warning: Rape-Related PTSD
Date: 2012-03-27 11:10 pm (UTC)Re: [Fill] Stained (39/?) Warning: Rape-Related PTSD
Date: 2012-03-30 07:51 pm (UTC)Re: [Fill] Stained (39/?) Warning: Rape-Related PTSD
Date: 2012-03-29 06:57 am (UTC)Re: [Fill] Stained (39/?) Warning: Rape-Related PTSD
Date: 2012-03-30 07:54 pm (UTC)Re: [Fill] Stained (39/?) Warning: Rape-Related PTSD
Date: 2012-09-12 07:13 pm (UTC)Stained - Author Anon
Date: 2014-03-19 04:19 am (UTC)Here's to the link to that: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1336198
Sorry to leave you all hanging, but I hope you've enjoyed what I was able to write.
Best wishes!
-Author Anon